Middle age can be a chance to break free and create the life we want or a chance to give up — so how do you make your choice?

Bill Ferguson is a relationship guru and author who says it’s never too late to reconnect with who you really are. After starting his career as a divorce attorney, Ferguson found fame as a lawyer who could actually take the conflict out of splitting up, something that caught the attention of Oprah Winfrey, The Wall Street Journal and The Washington Post.

Hurt that goes back to childhood can be healed, even decades later, and Ferguson (who is known as “The Love Counselor”) tells Growing Bolder that when we feel unloved and unfulfilled by our relationships, there’s always an underlying condition that’s causing those feelings. Once we expose that condition, we take away its power. But Ferguson says we have to take that first step.

See how Ferguson says we can get our power back, change our lives and find happiness at every age.